August 2022 Monthly Letter
Dear Reconcilers,
My wife, Jannice and I have shared a beautiful friendship with Sheila Graham for many years. Sheila attended one of our past workshops on Racial Reconciliation and we asked her to share a few thoughts in retrospect.
“Racist? No, Not Me.”
“Are you racist?” Who, me? No. From an early age my parents taught me racism was wrong and I should respect all races. Yes, I’m white, like many Americans, a mixture of Dutch, German, English and Irish with a smattering of Native American blood, but I’m not racist. I have friends of all races.
This was how I self-identified until I attended one of Curtis May’s Racial Reconciliation workshops. I knew about his conferences but saw no need to attend. Not me, I’m not racist. But the Mays are friends, and this conference was local, so I decided to go. Why not? It might be interesting. As I listened to stories of discrimination, I had a twinge of conscience, and then another. I began to realize I might not be as innocent of racial prejudice as I thought. I came to more fully understand how the privileges I enjoyed and took for granted were not shared by all.
It’s the 21st century, long past the Civil Rights Act of the 1960s, yet here were people I love, my Christian friends, still being followed by suspicious store clerks while shopping, regularly stopped by police for no reason except the color of their skin, and patiently suffering clueless, racially insensitive remarks from white friends (like me). Their examples were some of the more benign racial insults they suffer not only occasionally but almost daily. We’re all aware of the more deadly examples of racial injustice portrayed regularly in our news media.
What does that do to children’s minds when they are old enough to have to be warned about discrimination against them, because of the color of their skin? They have to be wary of even the authorities obligated to protect, not harm them. All I was told by my parents and what I taught my children was if you’re stopped by the police, be respectful, do what you’re told and all will be fine. Good information but obviously not enough for black children.
We recognize that racial discrimination is not only against black Americans. Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans and others are also discriminated against. We’re talking about people who have lived and worked in this country for generations, patriotic Americans who have fought in our wars and given their lives to protect our freedoms.
By now some of you have labeled me. In our divided nation, we have taken sides and refuse to listen to anyone who doesn’t agree with our personal opinions. But listening to one another is a significant solution to our problems, racial or otherwise. It’s time to put aside our assumptions about one another, often based on false premises, and listen to one another. That’s why the work of racial reconciliation is so important. It provides a means to come together, to open our hearts and minds and to just listen to one another.
Sheila Graham has a master’s of arts in religion and a master’s of arts in women’s studies in religion. Among her published writings is her book, From Fear to Faith, which includes personal accounts of discrimination against women in religious organizations.