August 2025 Monthly Letter
Dear Reconcilers,
Recently I was watching an interview with New Jersey federal Judge Esther Salas whose only son was shot and killed at her front door five years ago. Salas and her husband Mark Anderl were celebrating their son Daniel’s 20th birthday at their North Brunswick home when a man dressed as a delivery worker rang the bell. He fatally shot Daniel. Her husband was also wounded, but survived.
The similarities of her son’s death and the June 14th murder of Minnesota lawmaker Melissa Hortman and husband Mark triggered some tragic memories for Judge Salas. Melissa and Mark were also gunned down at their front door.
Sadly, nationwide threats of political violence are on the rise. Since 2017, Capitol Police say threats against members of Congress are up 140%, the highest they’ve ever been. A 2023 national survey from the Brennan Center for Justice found 43% of state legislators experience threats.
It was sad to hear Judge Salas’s account of her son’s death. However, I was impressed when she suggested that a start to ending the violence would be for our country to get back to kindness. How true!
We live in a time when division is louder than unity. Disagreements are more visible than grace. Some might view being kind as weakness or passivity, but it’s not. Kindness is the intentional choice to treat others with respect, compassion, and humility—especially when we disagree. Kindness listens before it speaks and remembers that every person carries a story we may never fully understand. Kindness builds bridges instead of walls.
Here are a few suggestions on how to show more kindness to all we meet.
- Realize that a kind gesture, thoughtful word, or just a smile can change someone’s day or even their life.
- Lending a helping hand, holding the door open, or letting someone go ahead of you in line are some practical ways to bring back kindness. A simple thank you means a lot.
- Learn how to disagree without showing disrespect. Sure it’s easier said than done but worth the effort.
- Speak up for others and stand against cruelty, racism, or injustice with courage and compassion.
Research shows that kindness is contagious. So let’s make kindness a lifestyle on our job, at home, and in our neighborhoods. When people experience or witness kindness, they are more likely to pass it on.
