October 2023 Monthly Letter

Dear Reconcilers,

This month our guest writer is Willard High, Pastor Emeritus of The Shepherd’s Community Church in Harvey, Illinois. We are honored to share Pastor Willard’s perspective with you.

Destructive Barriers

Barriers can be beneficial – keeping us safe from harm, trouble, contamination, even death. I love Yosemite National Park. During one visit in the early 1970’s a friend and I stood perched on a rocky cliff. The 4-Star restaurant below looked like an ant hill and the people entering like ants. Suddenly I was terrified, realizing there was no railing to keep me from falling to my death. While good barriers are wonderful, there are also bad, or destructive barriers that kill and maim far more people than they are erected to save. These barriers are not made of stone, steel, or hardwood, but are constructed and reinforced by assumptions, old wives’ tales, misguided opinions, innuendo, accusation, lies, fabrication, exaggeration, and narratives by the media. Their domain is the mind.

Let me share a story from childhood to illustrate my point. I was probably 10 at the time. School kids were on summer break; the weather in North Carolina was sunny and it was tobacco harvesting and processing season. Black and White families were working together to get those precious green leaves out of the field before they burned and their value was lost. I was happy. I had made a new White friend my age. The day’s labors seemed lighter and went by swiftly. We laughed, shared stories and talked about school. The day ended, I said goodbye to my friend and looked forward to the next day. On the way home my parents said something that I thought was peculiar. They said sometimes we think we have a friend, but some friendships cannot last, and they mentioned my closeness to my new friend.

The next day revealed what they saw coming. They had observed his parents’ negative reaction to our budding relationship and were trying to shield me from the painful lesson they knew I would be confronted with. My friend was cold and distant. He explained that his family told him we could not be friends; that I and my family were N. . . . . ., and he was better than me. I was deeply hurt and angry. His parents didn’t know me; that I was a straight-A student, raised in a Christian home, who dreamed of becoming a medical research scientist. This incident revealed some fundamental rules of discrimination: We are kept separate. We are taught to distrust, dislike, look down upon and hate one another and not allowed to really get to know one another. We are taught these things from birth if not in word, then in deed. We copy the behavior of those we love, trust and fear on the assumption that they are good, trustworthy people who have our best interests at heart. Misconceptions are reinforced by almost everything we see, hear and experience in our limited relationship circles; therefore, they are assumed to be true. God forbid we should see any bad behavior on the part of those we are taught to disrespect and hate, for that would convince us that what we have been taught was correct, but that is not necessarily so.

Those who buck the system and try to change are quickly forced back into line. It was easy for my friend’s parents to block our friendship because although his experience with me did not agree with what he was being told – they were his parents, what was he going to do? The next time he was tempted to step over the discrimination barrier, most likely his now tainted perception of truth would reel him in. His parents and friends likely need not say a word. The destructive mental barriers erected in our hearts and minds are superior to those made of stone, steel, and wood, but they do not save anyone; instead, they hurt people made in the image of God and destroy our humanity.